I ate the bread- part 1

Confession time…I totally ate the bread. Every-last-crumb-of-it.

There I was, reading a book that’s taken me way too long to finish (that always seems to happen when I’m not in a place to fully learn yet). I came across a sentence that got my mind whirling. I got a little riled up and much too enthusiastically shared it with my husband when he came in the room. I kept pondering the information and then it hit me. This message was for me…

My ranting quickly turned to understanding & then remorse. The Lord has been showing me something for awhile & I’ve ‘mastered’ rationalizing my behavior, when in fact… it was mastering me. The Lord knew I was in chains & took a different tactic. I’m so grateful He doesn’t leave me to myself.

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27 (NIV)

Ach!

He had been trying to tell me about social media, my phone & chasing multiple rabbits. I would hear, make small attempts and get sucked right back in. It’s not that I wasn’t convicted, because I was. What I wasn’t willing to do was cut off the root and change. Which means I wasn’t listening, obeying or repenting.

Weekly devotions, bible verses, church sermons, teachings, people and books were all delivering the same message over & over & over again on the use of time, purpose, and glorying God with my days and choices.

When the Holy Spirit directed me to this book that I had been procrastinating about finishing, and I came to the verse on idleness…my eyes were finally opened to the depth of my sin. I was eating loaves & loaves of bread. At the very center of the platter sat my phone & social media.

When I switched to a smart phone, books stopped being read. Any extra time found me reaching for my phone. Eventually, I slowly pulled away from blogging. He kept pointing out what He created me for, and I kept handing out excuses. I can tell you this…I wasn’t created to sit idle scrolling through my phone. For me, social media & online living became my bread of idleness.

You see, even if our time on social media is for good things…it’s still time. Is it how He wants us to spend our time or is a limit needed? We can do good things too much if it starts consuming us. Helping others is a great opportunity & that was my initial purpose online. We can reach people across the world without hopping on a plane. It’s amazing! Just like everything else though, it requires balance.

Balance is a weak area for me. I’ve always struggled with it. I know this & yet still didn’t put safeguards in place.

There is never an end to social media roads. Videos, lives, stories, posts, podcasts. It’s like going to a squirrel circus.

I knew the Lord called me to share my story, blog & offer hope to others. When another round of waves hit our family, I sunk deep into social media. I pulled away from where He placed me & tried to keep afloat my way. What started as a temporary shift, turned into a major trail of idleness.

How can I watch over the affairs of my own household & those placed in my care (there’s no ignoring the first half of this verse) when I’m unplugged from them & plugged into my device?

My daughter saw it coming. She knows when I need time, alone time, with the Lord. She kept urging me to go refill my soul with Him. To get in the lifeboat & row to an island for healing. I didn’t go. Instead, I ate more bread.

I have some good news…

I’m officially on a bread diet! It takes gluten free to a whole new level 😉 I would appreciate your prayers as I maneuver through this new way of living. My online activity can’t be severed completely & the enemy knows my weaknesses…but-

I have the light of life in me! John 8:12  The latest & greatest technology advances will never be greater or mightier than He is. He IS the One who leads my life. I’m following Him!

Transformed by the One who saves,

Tracy

sliced bread and stainless steel knife on top of brown wooden chopping board

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