47 Years

I think contemplation should be my new middle name. Thinking leads to contemplating & that usually means the Lord is getting ready to mold me some more.

I was “thinking” about how many years I’ve been alive. The numbers mean nothing. It’s the experiences. The learning, growing & changing. I can tell you that I’ve done quite a bit of changing since 1969. Every 5 years if you were to ask me if I had thought any of that would of happened I would have probably said no.

The Lord has my path planned out. Psalm 25: 4-5 & 32:8, Proverbs 3:5-8. My job is to be obedient & it’s taken me many years to realize that. Looking back I can see the pruning & shaping but boy it’s hard to see when you’re in the middle of it. Feelings can overshadow truth.

I spent this morning in 1 John. From the beginning to the end & the very last verse was exactly how I needed to end my daily study.

1 John 5:21  Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.

You see, I will have missed the whole point if I place anything before Christ. Anything means just that…anything.

I understand the richness of that verse. I did place many things before Jesus for way too long. I even spent a good chunk of my life without a Savior. I can never fully express the thankfulness I feel toward being saved. It’s a game changer. An eternal one. It’s a game no one should play. Time is definitely not in our hands.

47 years. There are times that I feel double that.  God’s Word promises that our burden will not be too heavy if we are hanging on tight to Him & let me tell you there are moments that I cling! Growth isn’t easy but it’s necessary. I don’t have it all figured out but I’m willing.

I never thought my kids would grow up so fast. When they were small the days sure did seem longer. Now the days are years in a blink. Months seem like hours. My house used to be loud with people & activity. Now it’s too quiet way to often.

I never thought I would be tending my son’s grave site or have a memorial garden. There’s nothing that can prepare you for that. Having something physical to touch even if it’s dirt & flowers does ease my empty hands. The mom in me needs to be needed.

I could create an endless list of my life’s trials & blessings. A large amount of it was not my plan. I created my own plan in my mind of what things should be & it doesn’t work that way. My hands have to stay off the wheel & my eyes can’t constantly focus on the outward.

Trust. That’s what I can do. Obey His Word. I can do that too. Share. Yep, I’m there. So, I place my hands on my bible, turn the pages & pray. My eyes read the words & I look upward to Him as much as possible.

The whole point of life is to prepare for eternity. The Lamb of God in my place…THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE…Amen & Thank You Jesus! If I only focus on here & my desires then I missed the point of everything. I’m looking forward to what God has planned for my remaining days.

Don’t waste the time you have been gifted with. It’s His to use for his Kingdom!

Eternally grateful,

Tracy

 

 

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