Tag Archives: Trust

His Healing Power

Have you ever experienced moments of regret so deep that you felt like it could swallow you?

Oh dear friend, I have. I’m gonna be honest…it’s not a good place to be. 

Every day there’s a fountain of living water I can drink. It’s found in God’s Word. Prayer. Quiet time with Him. Laying my burdens down. In the rush of life,  I often find myself thirsty. I take in drops instead of His healing flow.

John 4:10-14       Psalm 63:1-8

When I “hurry”, I’m vulnerable to old habits. My thoughts & words shift back to the very sin nature that Jesus died for. The enormity of that hurts my heart. Not nearly as much as it must hurt His.

The old me is where regret seeds were first planted. I made bad choice after bad choice. Distorted thinking was the residual that surfaced after I got married & had kids. I thought I could protect my children from life. I convinced myself that with the “right tools” in place they would be spared from regrets & totally forgot they had their own human nature. That “need” to protect only created more mistakes which lead to more remorse.

The closest we can get to doing relationships anywhere near just right is by exampling what we believe instead of just saying it. That realization usually arrives too late & we’re left with thoughts of, “I wish I had/hadn’t….” There are tears of sadness….and rightly so. Mistakes hurt.

Psalm 73:26

Change can’t happen with yesterday’s but it can be part of today. 

Regrets are one of the first things to flood in & try to steal the truths I hold close. I have at least twelve U Haul trailers full. I unhitched & parked them a long time ago but every now & again I try to pull a wagon full behind me.

Have you ever had them creep in out of nowhere? That’s how the enemy works. He whispers lies to saved souls trying to draw us back into darkness. I don’t know about you, but if I’m tired out, weary or in a heavy season of sorrow, those regrets can pull me right down into a puddle of sobs.

When those lies start coming…turn away & lean toward the Truth. We have a victorious King who already won. That’s where real power is found. He can & will break every chain.

Josh Baldwin released a new song that points to this power. Here are a few of the lyrics–

Stand in Your Love by Josh Baldwin

When darkness tries to roll over my bones
When sorrow comes to steal the joy I own
When brokenness and pain is all I know
I won’t be shaken, no, I won’t be shaken

Shame no longer has a place to hide
I am not a captive to the lies
I’m not afraid to leave my past behind
Oh, I won’t be shaken, no, I won’t be shaken!

There’s power that can break off every chain
There’s power that can empty out a grave
There’s resurrection power that can save
There’s power in Your name, power in Your name!

We all have hard stories to tell, don’t we? Life changing phone calls, core-shaking actions, images revealed, devastating decisions made by trusted loved ones, tragedies, abuse, addiction, mistakes, abandonment. There can be deep, deep sadness surrounding these things, but it’s not the end of the story.

Please hear me…the Lord can bring purpose out of pain. He really can. It takes time, but it’s more than possible. Handing the shattered pieces over to Jesus is where healing starts. The old is no longer our identity.

The power that can break any chain is the same power that fear flees from. His mighty power will hold us in His love. His perfect love. He offers it to us…the imperfect. The very same us that cost Him his life.

That fountain I mentioned? It’s always there. Let’s grab a cupful and thirst no more.

Forever in his mercy,
Tracy
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True Life

Do you know how a certain song can grab hold of you & hit those areas that no one else sees? That happens to me often with contemporary praise & worship music.

Living life, learning hard lessons, finding hope & creating lyrics for it. It’s like a Psalm turned into a modern song. Words that cause your heart to fill with His peace as you reach your arms to the heavens and worship the Father with deep awe and adoration. Reminders that our life belongs to Him, first & foremost.

Only Jesus by Casting Crowns is one of these songs for me.

I’ve heard many mixed messages about the meaning of life. Dreams are being chased while people are left behind. Trophies and medals that once held value now collect dust and are forgotten as time rushes forward. Moments are wasted on earthly things and relationships suffer. Wants are invested in only to find out they are temporary desires that quickly lose their importance. Bibles are left on the shelf, tables are rarely set for a meal, family members are apart more than they’re together. Days turn into months and then years. The latest trends in clothes, books, movies, music & technology pull people away from what really matters. It’s chaos.

People are still people, no matter what era you live in. What you value might change with the times but why you value things doesn’t. That comes from the heart. We have a world full of endless distractions. The reason we allow ourselves to be pulled in so many directions goes right back to the why. I think that’s something most of us would rather avoid thinking about. I know I would.

If you saw a movie reel of your life from childhood to today, what would you see? What have you committed yourself to?

For me, I know I’ve wasted a lot of time chasing falsehoods that the world offered. Time I won’t get back. A hard question I have to ask myself is— what does my life point to? If the Lord called me home today, would people remember me or would they remember that I loved Jesus? I pray it’s Jesus.

In Christ Alone,

Tracy

The Word of God is our sword–

Isaiah 26:3-4        Philippians 4:8       1 John 1:9       1 Corinthians 10:13

OK

“How are you?” – “I’m Ok” – “How are you doing?” – “I’m good”….and so it goes. The greeting so many of us use & hear.

I became a follower of Christ in my adult years & one thing that’s always present at every church we’ve attended is the ‘how are you’ small talk question. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. I lean toward the introvert personality type so it’s a helpful ice breaker for me to initiate conversation with.

I believe there are caring people genuinely asking & desiring to know how someone is. Sadly, it’s also turned into a passerby statement. I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed to really hear someone’s heart by participating in this dialogue circle. How many times have I robbed myself of wise council by not sharing how I really am?

Just because I walk into a church building doesn’t mean I’m OK. The church is not full of people who are OK. It’s quite the opposite. Maybe if we were vulnerable with the truth then more people would want to join us at church. I, for one, can testify that I don’t have it all together…not even close.

Even more so, I never had it together.

A church building is where believers gather but it’s not the church. The church is a body of believers from all over who realize they aren’t OK, have humbled themselves, repented & handed their lives over to Jesus Christ as Lord. I’m grateful the Father gifted me with being among this group.

I recently heard this song from We Are MessengersI’ve listened to it a few times now & looked at the lyrics. (Listened as in tested how loud the radio can go in my vehicle 😉 ) He may as well be describing me. Every ounce of so many things I’ve experienced in my life left me not OK. Each time. Each event. Before Jesus & after.

I realize these are two very different types of OK. There are days that I’m weary from circumstances & don’t feel OK. There’s also the me before Christ & I was not even close to being OK. I was as lost as lost could be. I had no idea what that even meant back then, I just knew something was missing. I was empty inside & trying to fill that emptiness with worldly things.

My life before Jesus was messy & hard. It was loaded with hurt & sin. After Jesus, it’s still messy & hard BUT in a different way. I’m not hopeless anymore. I know I’m being held by the One who took my sins & made me whole. He washed me clean & that’s huge for someone who always felt dirty from shame.

The chains of shame are hard to break free from. I could never have done it on my own. It was all Jesus. There are times when the enemy still tries to use my past in an attempt to pull me back into shame. Shame runs deep, but His grace runs much, much deeper.

Every Christmas I’m reminded of who I was & who I am now. I understand why there’s Christmas. Christ came for people who aren’t OK. He’s stronger than sin. He is CHRISTmas. 

It’s from not being OK that I can fully appreciate all that He’s saved me from.

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1 John & Romans 5 explain so much better why Jesus was born. God had a plan. He always has a plan. Christmas was & is a wide open window for us to see a piece of it.

Do you want to take a look inside that plan? Are you ready to entrust your life to Him? He welcomes the not OK’s. There’s no false promises of a perfect life without pain but there is a Savior who loves you so much that He came to earth to die in your place. His Christmas gift is all we ever need.

Saved by His sacrifice,

Tracy

 

Derailed

I’m in my happy place- papers, real genuine lined paper….sprawled all over the place. Full of notes….real penned notes. Gloriousness!

I have a story to tell you about how a morning conversation, affirmations, trains, callings & a daughter who put a visual to an area of my life all collided at my kitchen table. Here we go….

I was derailed! Gods perfect plan & timing can never be altered by us. He knows exactly when we’re ready & when we’re not. I had lots of circumstances that played a part in my derailment, but He allowed it because He knew I needed it.

Have you ever been derailed?

It can happen to any of us when we start listening to the wrong voices, ourselves included. The Lord is the Divine Director. People shouldn’t tell people what they are called to, or gifted in. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit.

A saying that I like to tell my daughter is, “Remember Who’s you are.” Maybe I should have been telling myself the same thing. I firmly believe there are precious believers who share godly truths. Unfortunately, there’s also some who don’t speak helpful words.

1 Thessalonians 5:8-11 “But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us. Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (NLT)

God gifts His children with abilities. As His church, we should be encouraging each other & be available for the Spirit to use us.  What if a piece of God’s discernment plan is to be used by Him to reveal someones calling. When we speak words like, “Why are you doing that, that makes no sense, it’s not my thing, I don’t get it, I’m not seeing it,” then we’ve risked stripping precious hope from someone.

It’s OK to not fully understand or relate with someone else’s gifting, but it’s not OK to tear them down. That’s not being the body. Sometimes, the less we say, the better. Encouragement should flow easier off our lips.

Ephesians 4 

Ephesians 4:15-16 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” (NLT) 

Too many are trying to….. take on the role of God the Father. They push God aside, barge through doors & offer their solutions as the right way…..take on the position of God the Holy Spirit. They push past the Spirit, inform others what their calling is, isn’t & what they should do with their life….take on the job of God the Son. They bypass Jesus, offer a life line and saving grace to clean up/fix the supposed mess they see in others. This whole thing causes major relationship damage & can derail people from their calling. We don’t have the power to decide what Kingdom work people are supposed to do with their life.

God has already done that.

Romans 12:6-8 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.” (NLT)

His call on our life is exactly that….His call.

For so long I thought I had one gift. One calling. I placed the other in a “helping hobby” category. I’ve tried so hard to keep them separate. Two trains roaring down the track of my life. Every time I withheld effort & time from one, the other would slow down as well. So I would flip them, thinking I had heard God wrong. Same result. Sometimes, I stopped pouring into both all together.

I would head down another track, usually out of guilt-ed obligation. Good serving opportunities, but not what I’m gifted in. They were distractions from what I was supposed to be doing. I thought it was a real track, when in fact, it was actually placed there by the enemy to pull me away from the ministry work that God equipped me for. The cross I thought I saw at the end was nothing more than a disguised vapor.

I’ve tried keeping these two callings apart for so long that my focus got cloudy. The Lord has used many things in the past month to clear up my vision. I don’t have the full picture because that’s not how God works. He shows a piece of the track at a time. What I now know is that the trains are actually connected. They are both headed to the cross!

The hand cart is ministry serving that the Lord has called me to for a season. A seasonal calling. It’s to help strengthen me. To teach me. To show me how to dig my roots deep into Him. It requires a lot of effort but it’s necessary. It goes in front & clears the path.

Obstacles on the road to the cross can be painful. They seem so big, nearly impossible to move. I’m telling ya….detours. I can’t move them. I have to go around, making sure to stay in the cross boundary lines, all the while experiencing some pretty hard things.

Detours aren’t easy but, we can’t become like Christ without them.

I’m excited to have a visual for my journey. What a gift Jaelynn has given me. I have no idea when these train cars will hitch together. I’m trusting that in His time, he’ll make it happen. For now, I can finally see that they are connected. I couldn’t see that before. No more wasting precious time thinking of one only as a hobby.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me Your truth, Your way. Thank you for lifting some of the fog & leading me forward!

You better believe I’ll be holding onto this sketch forever, especially when the enemy starts tossing lies at me.

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A calling is always used to bring glory to the Father. It’s never about us or to be used for selfish gain. That’s not a calling. We have talents & things we enjoy doing that can possibly be used in our calling but it’s not the same thing. The end goal of a calling is the cross.

A calling is where we use our God given gifts.

What is your calling? Are you headed to the cross? Maybe, like me, you have two things connected. What fills you with passion? What energizes you? What do you get re-fueled by even when you’re bone tired & have nothing left?

Don’t ever let anyone steal the joy & hope that God laid on your heart about this. His Word tells us that he gifted us all differently. Lets bring our gifts together & be the church!

Always in His Hope,

Tracy

The Ache of Loss

Losses are hard. There are so many layers to it. Death, in itself, has amounts unimaginable. Loss of their life & having them be part of ours. Physical losses of hearing their voice, seeing their face, touching their skin. Losses of dreams, of sharing everyday milestones together. Just plain loss.

A loss is an ache from what is missing. 

Losses can also happen from things other than death. Loss can be ushered in from another’s decisions. I guess instead of writing about where losses stem from that maybe I should just share the ache of loss. It is an ache, a deep hurt inside that others can rarely see.

I’m going to zoom in on mama’s & loss. I’ve had more conversations lately with moms who have suffered losses. You just have no idea how many there are. If you’ve lost a child to death or have one who walked away then this blog is for you. Please hear my heart…I’m so sorry you’re walking this road of ache. There’s a bond we have with our children from the moment they are formed inside of us & our love for them is endless. An abrupt severing of that bond is not easy to recover from.

Life has events that we can’t see coming or stop from happening. There are accidents, tragedies & hurtful choices. There’s no way to emotionally prepare for the death of a child. There’s no way to prepare for when one abandons you either.

I go to Psalm 34 a lot. God’s Word has a special way of easing my aches. Verse 18 brings me so much hope because I know that no matter how much sorrow I feel, the Lord is oh so near. People may leave but the Father never does. Not ever.

Psalm 34:18

Me & water are like two peas in a pod. I could stare at it for hours & listen to the sounds of the waves. For me, it’s a visual on the vastness of “stuff” when circumstances seem like un-climbable mountains . I calm when I see all that He created. He spoke the water into existence. He sees & knows everything that I don’t. He is bigger than my mind can grasp. I can’t bring any of my children back. He knows each situation & it’s all in His hands. Which is way better than any of it being in mine.

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What do I do with the ache of losses? I meet with my Savior. I pour my heart out to Him. Sometimes I just sit in His presence & cry. I pray & I trust & I pray & I trust some more. There’s no formula to follow. There’s no timeline to stick to. There’s ache. Pure, raw, heartbreaking ache. Goodness, He knows it’s there so I don’t have to put on any falsehoods. He knows when my chest feels like a bomb went off. He knows when I could drop to the ground & sob for hours so why would I pretend like it wasn’t there. He already knows.

Spending time in my bible is comforting for me. It’s where I collide with the Comforter. His Word is what never changes. There are so many things around me that change. I need His steadiness. His security. I need Him.

I say Psalm 19:14 at the start of each day. These losses can threaten to pull me away from God or draw me closer to Him. I try to lean in closer. My words, my actions, my thoughts all determine how I’ll walk through each new day. I can’t change situations or losses but I sure can try to live in a way that honors Him. I’ll never be perfect at it but my desire is there.

Psalm 19:14

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You know how I love the water? Well, I’m a huge fan of God’s handiwork in the sky too. I try to pause & look at each sunset & sunrise. I might not be able to see the Lord, yet, but I can enjoy His masterpieces in creation. He promises to uphold what is His. His strength is perfect strength.

I can’t be afraid of the what if’s. All I can do is embrace the right now’s. 

Isaiah 41:10

Oh dear friend, I know it hurts. We love our kids so much. Don’t give up on your prodigal. Stay on your knees for them. Don’t let anyone tell you to stop grieving the loss of your child, no matter how many years it’s been. There is no set time frame for grief. The ache of loss is real. Not many understand that, but I do. Some days have a stronger sense of hope than others. Hopelessness will try to shackle you in its chains. Run, limp if you have to, but stay close to the real hope of Christ.

Always His,

Tracy

A Certain Kind of Hope

I saw something online today that caught my eye. I haven’t been able to shake it & it’s not the first time I’ve seen this. Facebook, Instagram & Twitter. The world wide web. It’s not always pretty. Eye opening but by no means pretty.

A health post poised as a question of interest. This one was on essential oils. I started reading some of the comments & had to stop. It was like watching bees on honey. Hungry bees. Desperate bees. Fighting bees.

Two things that had the biggest impact on me-

  1. I never want to be like that.
  2. It shouldn’t be like that.

I don’t have a problem with network marketing if it’s the right company with a good structure. I actually like the idea if it’s legit. I didn’t know an awful lot about it before but I’ve learned more over the past 5 years. Now I notice it. The online interaction & promoting catches my eye. Ha, occasionally it makes me close my eyes!

My heart gets heavy when I watch some people in network marketing. There really are genuine people loving their product, sticking with it for years & years sharing what they love. I LIKE THAT. Experienced product users that get positive results guiding & teaching interested people is a good thing. The hard part is that’s not what you always see.

It’s easy to spot the get rich quick salespeople. I’m totally OK with sales if that’s what you’re gifted at & passionate about. Integrity sales. I’m not OK with the number chasers, in store or out. The ones who plow over people, including their friends & family just to achieve a certain dollar amount.

I’ve had some first hand blubbers that were painful but also learning times. I didn’t start using essential oils to start a business. I started because I was knee deep in the middle of tragedy & grief. I was cautious & guarded when I first shared because it was a very personal, painful & private time. The Lord helped walked me through sharing in hopes of helping someone else that needed it. That’s a whole story in itself.

A “business” grew from that sharing. I’m glad I was vulnerable. I’m glad I pushed past the fear.

I’ll be honest, I’ve made a lot of mistakes with my oil group. There is no cookie cutter way that works. There’s helpful ideas but not one way only. God created us all different. We all have different life experiences. I’ve read books & tried methods that claim success but don’t deliver concrete results. I’ve seen people come & go. I’ve watched people find hope & healing. I’ve seen people not realize that who they sign up under is their support system- their purchases will always financially help that person & they had no idea. I’ve had people use me for information & join another oil group. I’ve spent hours online answering questions & helping only to watch those same people sign up with someone who had a great online giveaway. I’ve had people let fear over take them & decide oils aren’t safe. I’ve put my family to the side to tend to interested people online who were never really interested at all. I’ve had people leave my oil group with promises of big business building opportunities in other groups. I’ve poured myself out until my tank was depleted. I’ve prepared classes & had no one show up. I’ve had people who love the products decide to build a business & watch as they use less & order less because they changed their mentality even though they were getting results. I’ve learned I can’t own others health. I’ve not been supportive enough in some areas & enabled too much in others. I’ve discovered balance & time management are priceless. I could list page after page of things I’ve learned & mistakes I’ve made. I’m not trying to plant a seed of discouragement in this jumbo paragraph. Hang on for a minute & we’ll come back to this.

I’ve seen tears. I’ve had some special conversations. I’ve watched hope being renewed. I’ve seen excitement. I’ve witnessed amazing results. I’ve seen people supporting each other when they need help. I’ve had full classes that have inspired me immensely. I’ve meet some of the best people ever!

I may never be blessed with a big oil group. I may never figure out how to reach people online. I may never be relatable enough for everyone. I can’t force God’s hand & demand anything. What I can do is be honest. I can share where I’ve been, what I do & what I hope for. I can be real.

I can encourage you not to give up. I’m not giving up either. I can challenge you to make one change at a time. I’m still in that process too. It’s a lifestyle for me. It’s not a fix – all – magic – one – drop miracle. It’s one of the products I use for support. I have for years & I plan on sticking with it. I don’t have all the answers but by golly, I have hope.

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I mentioned we’d come back to that big paragraph & here we are.  The biggest thing I’m discovering in all of this is that God might be using my business to grow my character, not my bank account. Maybe, just maybe, God’s plan isn’t a successful business by worldly standards as much as it’s about character building by biblical standards. 

I’ll keep using all these oils & products because I love them. A blast from the past side note…I was a newer oil user & I was invited to an oil conference (which I found out was more like a health conference & I learned tons). I heard a saying that went something like this, “What if? What if?” She had my attention pretty much because of her sincere tone. “What if this works? What do you have to lose?”  She was right. I had already lost so much. A spark of hope lit up that day. A certain kind of hope. Hope for a purpose for the pain.

Listen, I don’t know where you are in life. I don’t know all that you’ve been through but I do know that I would love to have you join me. You can check out my website at https://www.rootsofhealingyl.com/ I’m a regular ole gal who loves Jesus with all her heart. I know the Lord has a plan for my life & I do my best to not get in the way. I’m learning new things all the time. Life is hard & we need to stick together. The roads we travel are not meant to be traveled in isolation. Isolation doesn’t guarantee pain free.

Just so you know, I’m not one of those angry bees I was talking about. That’s not me. There’s no hope in that for me. I always come back to hope. There are so many ways to describe it. A certain kind of hope that consumes me is the hope that’s found only in the Savior. I pray you have that same hope.

Everything is for Him & through Him. He provides all at the exact times needed. ❤️ 1 Peter 4:10-11

Grateful for Him Always,

Tracy

 

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In 4 Days

In 4 days I’ll be 48 years old. The number doesn’t mean much at all. What matters is what weaves the years together. Some would call it my story. I see more than a story. I see a broken mess pieced together by redemption & change. I actually see many “stories”. Lord willing, one day I’ll be able to share them all.

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Scripture memorization doesn’t come easy for me. This verse is planted deep in my heart. I start each day with it. A new day. My words & what flows from my heart is who I am. I can pretend all day long that I’m something else but that’s not what honesty is. Change. I’m called to constant change.

I’d love to erase a bucket full of things but I can’t. The truth is, as painful as some life situations were (are) I can honestly say that there was change in me that occurred afterward. Change that I’m trusting God could happen no other way.

I see the me before Christ & the me after. The me before barely had any tools to be able change. There’s no hope in self. It’s the after that got me. I have the source of all now. Change before Jesus meant changing to become more like the world & that was empty. Change after is a refining process rooted deeply in the Father.

Dear weary one, I feel the weight of weary too. I can’t stop loved ones from dying. I can’t make prodigals return. I can’t prevent diseases from happening. I can’t stop abuse. I can’t ease loneliness & sorrow. I can’t end people attempting to create their own kingdoms. I can’t keep friends from leaving. I can’t shut off lying & deceit. I can’t undo addictions. I can’t. What I can do is pray & trust. So can you. Heaven is where there is no pain, not here. I thank God from the depths of my soul for sending Jesus to take my sin & punishment. I believe in Him. I’ve surrendered my life to Him. He has saved meThrough that I can forgive & I can change. Hear my words….it’s not easy.

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The Lord will lift the fog in his time. It’s there for a reason. Despite my weak knees, I think it’s time for me to get on them more. I can’t see over the fog but I can trust Him to walk me through it.

My days are in His hands.

Lord, you’ve blessed me with salvation & thank you seems so small. You know my heart & it’s devoted to you. I pray for my words & thoughts to be yours alone. Help me to forgive others completely through your grace & mercy. Thank you for the trials & for never leaving my side. I pray that you can use the days that I have left on this earth to help others & to share your hope. Forgive my human flesh & the mistakes that I make. May I follow after your Will & not my own desires. You are my Rock. My Redeemer. My anchor. I pray that you can fill all the empty voids inside me. Help me to see clearly through the fog. My life is Yours, Lord. In Christ forever…Amen.

In Christ,

Tracy

#myhope # surrender #christianblog 

What If

How important is trust to you? Is it a deal breaker? A relationship destroyer?

  • What if someone hid things from you?
  • What if someone lied not only to you but about you?
  • What if someone deceived you?
  • What if someone close to you shared your confidences?
  • What if  someone you cared about seriously wronged you?
  • What if you got hurt over & over again by the same person?

What if that someone is your spouse, parent, child, mentor, friend or a respected person in authority? Does that alter your answer any?

Let’s switch up the questions a bit.

  • What if there’s unanswered prayer?
  • What if you can’t hear God anymore?
  • What if you feel abandoned & left all alone?
  • What if no one is hearing you?
  • What if you’ve been in a season of waiting for a really long time?
  • What if you’ve suffered deep losses?

I could add in pages & pages of what if’s & I’d probably still miss a bunch. What if? What would you do? What should you do? Is there really anything to do?

I think the real question here is trust. For me, trust is super important. A trustworthy person is like a treasure. ~ Proverbs 21:3 ~ Trust & forgiveness are usually found together.

Being able to trust after hurtful situations can be so difficult. Are any of us completely trustworthy? If we’re honest, the answer is no. We all let people down in one way or another. The only one that doesn’t is Christ.

In steps forgiveness.

Choosing to forgive like Jesus forgives isn’t something I can do on my own. I can, however, do it through him. It’s another layer of dying to self & living in Christ. The Lord tells me I must forgive as much as I’ve been forgiven. That’s a huge immeasurable amount.

Forgiveness might seem easier if there weren’t feelings involved but they are & there’s no way to change that. The truth is, forgiveness is surrounded by emotions but it’s not a feeling in itself. It’s a decision. My feelings are usually stumbling blocks against forgiving anyway.

A wise person shared with me that forgiveness is daily. DAILY.

You might be thinking, ” I can’t, you don’t understand.” You’re absolutely right, I can’t either & no, I don’t completely understand but I can relate to a certain degree. I’ve had some things in my lifetime, let me tell ya. Oh, I’ve had some things.

The good news is, He knows I can’t. HE CAN! Forgiveness is possible through & with Him. He sends the right people, books, scripture verses, worship songs, devotionals, pulpit teachings, podcasts, emails, texts & whatever else he desires to use for guidance. He never abandons. I’m the one that can refuse to listen or turn away in rebellion.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting but it does mean releasing. I don’t have the right to hold anyone in chains. What actually happens is I chain myself in an internal prison. With God’s grace I can choose to not obsess about the hurt. I can have freedom. Not one ounce of this is possible without God.

Broken trust is a hard one for me. I’ve been studying on forgiveness like crazy & it’s not over. I need more of God’s Word to wash over my heart. I need Him to break me. Sorting out the differences between hurt & needing to forgive can get murky in my mind. It can take awhile but thankfully the Lord is patient with me.

At the end of the day can I change any of the what if’s that occur in my own life? No, not even close but I can change me with His help. It’s in the moments of coming to the end of myself & deep hurt that I finally open my tightly clenched fists & lay my hands out to Jesus. My flesh driven pride battles with my desire for humility.

You see, they can’t reside together. If I’m trying to be the lord of my own life then I no longer remain humble in the one true King. A prideful heart justifies actions. A humble heart can forgive & focuses on justification through Jesus Christ. Oh Lord, may you gift me with your humbleness.

What can be done to heal from broken trust? There is Worship! Lord, may I roar the praises of Your glory in worship. ~ Psalm 103  ~

There is Prayer! Lord, help me to pray for those who have hurt me. ~Mark 11:25 ~

Worship & prayer can soften the heart. Devoted worship can saturate the hurts in truth. All in. Complete surrender.

There is His Word! Ephesians 4…Lord, may it soak into me! Luke 6…Lord, may I meditate on it day & night!

Whatever you do, don’t give up! There is hope! Always hope! Hope in Him, in his Word & in his plan.

I’m right here with you. Forgiveness takes supernatural effort. I think it’s time, don’t you? May our actions not grieve the Holy Spirit.

In Christ,

Tracy

 

– I understand that some what if’s are way more serious than what I mentioned & I’m truly sorry if you have experienced any.