Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Rescued

I have been rescued.

I am a rescue story.

Let’s sit together for a minute while I tell you a bit about my rescue—

This girl right here is a walking image of God’s indescribable grace.

The Lord has been reminding me about my testimony a lot lately. There are many chapters to my salvation story. All of it was leading up to one life saving moment when I would be adopted by the Father above.

Jesus met me in my mess. All those years of feeling lost and forgotten were redeemed the moment my hard heart was softened. I had been listening to lies my whole life and could finally hear the voice of Truth.

Shame had keep me in shackles. It dictated my actions and thoughts. I had many lords that ruled over me. Abuse. Addiction. Self-centeredness. Superstition. Control. Regret.

The one true Lord reached down into the pit of ashes I was in and pulled me out.

He carried my soul from death to life in Him.

I did nothing to earn my eternal salvation. I would never and could never be good enough. It’s a beautiful gift of grace. My eyes were opened and I finally saw my desperate need to be saved. I searched high & low for relief in the world, only to find more sorrow and fleeting happiness.

I fumbled through my “I’m sorry’s” to God. He already knew the sincerity of my remorse because he could see inside my heart. I had heard the word “repent” before but had no idea what it meant in this context. His grace doesn’t require a perfect understanding of certain words. He is the Perfecter & would work all of that out with me over time. The important thing was my belief in Jesus as my personal Savior & spoken words confessing my need for Him as Lord over my life.

My faith walk hasn’t been easy. Easy was never the promise.

Lies still come & try to drown out the voice of Truth. Valleys have been long. Paths of suffering have been real. But, do you know what? I can raise my hands in praise because those difficulties have actually strengthened my faith. In all the hardship I have seen the goodness of God in ways I never would have.

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Yes…in my humanness, I have struggled. There have been times of wrestling I’ve had to experience with the Lord. All to draw me nearer to my Shepherd and further from myself. I’m an image bearer of my Savior. He daily molds me & chips away at the things that hinder my growth. His scars hold my very own. There is no other love like that!

I have been set free. Free…to point to Jesus. To praise His holy name. To worship with all that’s in me. To share His hope with others.

The same past Jesus saved me from is the very same past that Satan tries to remind me of. I don’t have to listen…I’ve been chosen. Rescued. The enemy used my lack of unforgiveness for myself far too long. I can’t fully listen to two voices. Honestly, how I spend my time determines which voice is louder. I have to be intentional about my minutes & how I use them.

My struggle wasn’t really with my past anyway, but with the enemy of my soul, Ephesians 6:12 , who wants to stop me from sharing about the One true King.

As long is there is breath in my lungs, I will share the Truth that sets souls free. Who I was is not my identity. Who I am is a rescued, forgiven, loved child of God.

Please hear my heart…there is nothing that can’t be forgiven. No one can be ‘too far gone’. His saving grace- full of hope, mercy & love can wash anyone clean.

Have you turned to Him yet and asked for rescue? Please don’t wait another minute. There is no hurt that He can’t heal. This world is so very hard. You don’t have to walk through it alone- there is a Rescuer near.

Thank you for spending some time with me. Let’s meet together real soon, OK?

Rescued by Him,

Tracy

#rescuestory

Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

It’s a word that comes with a variety of how to instructions, books, and detailed manuals.

It’s not simple to explain or easy to do.

What it is….is necessary.

I’ve read many books over the years on forgiveness & lots of step by step guides. Most of it has been helpful, even convicting at times. However, there’s one book that lays it all out. One that I return to time & time again…my Bible.

As a follower of Christ, forgiveness is at the core of my salvation. The Lord forgave all of my sins. Every last one. I didn’t do anything to deserve it & yet, here I stand…in His merciful forgiveness.

I know this truth & there are still times I find myself being half-hearted with it. Every second of every day I should be on my knees pouring out His praise. He didn’t gift me with partial forgiveness & I shouldn’t be giving Him pieces of devotion.

The enemy loves to whisper lies that I’m not really forgiven. Self condemnation rears it’s ugly head. It’s just not true. Jesus’ death on the cross paid the full penalty for my sin. I am His forgiven daughter.

Colossians 2:13-15 Titus 3:4-7 Romans 10:9-10

He provides the ultimate example of what forgiveness looks like. I never come anywhere near to doing it as quickly as God does. I’m not proud of that at all. I’m just being truthful with you. Sometimes it’s a process for me.

People will wound other people. I know I’ve hurt others & have needed to be forgiven. We all act & react out of a state of brokenness.

There are times when even the thought of being able to forgive someone seems impossible. The hurt is too deep. I can tell you from experience that it is possible. Not from anything we can do in our own strength.

Forgiveness can happen because we are the forgiven.

Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. It’s forgiving, and we’re commanded to forgive…to bring Him glory.

Colossians 3:13 Matthew 6:14-15 Ephesians 4:29-32 Luke 6:37-38

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Can I share with you for a minute? Not long ago, I faced a hard season. I knew I had to forgive someone very near & dear to me…but I couldn’t. I would sit outside staring at the horizon, crying out to the Lord. I could not find forgiveness for this person.

It was tearing me apart inside. Distancing me from true fellowship with the Holy Spirit. I was angry. Broken. Betrayed. Disillusioned. Hurting deeply. I had no idea where to start.

The unimaginable walked through my door & I wanted it to walk right back out.

Words & actions can’t be taken back. Sometimes…they destroy. That’s where I was. Sitting in the middle of destruction, begging Him to pull me out.

I kept seeking His help. Sobbing…sitting in silence…shattered. Days turned into months.

I would get glimpses of forgiveness & think I was getting closer, only to watch it slip away…time & time again. The internal conflict was endless.

My daughter kept telling me to go away for a week & have some alone time. Precious time with my Savior always fills me back up with His direction & hope.

I never went. New piles were being added on top of the already existing mess. It was all too much for me. With each heaping load, less of me was left.

I was disappearing, but He was rising.

One thing He showed me when we lost Jake was that I couldn’t walk some roads…but He could. He carries the weak. He does it.

Here I was. Again. He was reminding me when I can’t…He can.

I remember the day. I was outside in my chair. Same spot, same crying, same hurt. I was pleading with the Lord to show me how to forgive.

Pray. Pray for them.

I had been praying for change & praying about them…all the time. What I hadn’t done was pray for them. Through sobs, I choked out new prayers. Not prayers about the hurt, or desired change & healing. I fumbled through imperfect prayers that were being lifted to a perfect Savior. He knew I was finally ready.

I had to forgive them as much as I’ve been forgiven. That’s a complete forgiveness. No holding back.

My heart had been hanging onto the hurt for a long time. I needed His heart. The heart where forgiveness resides. I knew I was in sin by not forgiving. Wading through pain is difficult & confusing. I struggled to find my way out, and He never left my side. That, my friends, is a loving God.

I can’t change people or heal wounds. Only Christ can. Surrendering what we have no control over is where healing begins.

Forgiving has no guaranteed relationship outcome. There are too many variables. The person may not want reconciliation. Maybe they’re already gone. It could be someone you’ll never see again. The point of forgiveness isn’t about what surrounds the situation, because there is no eraser. It’s about our heart. When we won’t forgive, we aren’t free.

I’m still walking this path. I can’t promise that I won’t make mistakes. I have no idea what my responses will be. I do know that my desire is to please my Lord. I want to honor Him. All I can do is keep trying, keep filling myself with His Word, keep changing me, keep hoping, and never forget who the battle is with & Who it belongs to!

Sometimes, sadness does remain. We’re never quite the same after trials. Thankfully, He works out all things, in His way & in His timing. His light shines through every crack. Change is good…getting there is the hard part. It’s a continued breaking of our brokenness.

Do you have unforgiveness in your heart? The Lord sees it. There’s no hiding. Please…talk with Him about it. He really can help. I’m living proof.

Forgiven,

Tracy

What If

How important is trust to you? Is it a deal breaker? A relationship destroyer?

What if someone hid things from you?
What if someone lied not only to you but about you?
What if someone deceived you?
What if someone close to you shared your confidences?
What if someone you cared about seriously wronged you?
What if you got hurt over & over again by the same person?

What if that someone is your spouse, parent, child, mentor, friend or a respected person in authority? Does that alter your answer any?

Let’s switch up the questions a bit.

What if there’s unanswered prayer?
What if you can’t hear God anymore?
What if you feel abandoned & left all alone?
What if no one is hearing you?
What if you’ve been in a season of waiting for a really long time?
What if you’ve suffered deep losses?

I could add in pages & pages of what if’s & I’d probably still miss a bunch. What if? What would you do? What should you do? Is there really anything to do?

I think the real question here is trust. For me, trust is super important. A trustworthy person is like a treasure. ~ Proverbs 21:3 ~ Trust & forgiveness are usually found together.

Being able to trust after hurtful situations can be so difficult. Are any of us completely trustworthy? If we’re honest, the answer is no. We all let people down in one way or another. The only one that doesn’t is Christ.

In steps forgiveness.

Choosing to forgive like Jesus forgives isn’t something I can do on my own. I can, however, do it through him. It’s another layer of dying to self & living in Christ. The Lord tells me I must forgive as much as I’ve been forgiven. That’s a huge immeasurable amount.

Forgiveness might seem easier if there weren’t feelings involved but they are & there’s no way to change that. The truth is, forgiveness is surrounded by emotions but it’s not a feeling in itself. It’s a decision. My feelings are usually stumbling blocks against forgiving anyway.

A wise person shared with me that forgiveness is daily. DAILY.

You might be thinking, ” I can’t, you don’t understand.” You’re absolutely right, I can’t either & no, I don’t completely understand but I can relate to a certain degree. I’ve had some things in my lifetime, let me tell ya. Oh, I’ve had some things.

The good news is, He knows I can’t. HE CAN! Forgiveness is possible through & with Him. He sends the right people, books, scripture verses, worship songs, devotionals, pulpit teachings, podcasts, emails, texts & whatever else he desires to use for guidance. He never abandons. I’m the one that can refuse to listen or turn away in rebellion.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting but it does mean releasing. I don’t have the right to hold anyone in chains. What actually happens is I chain myself in an internal prison. With God’s grace I can choose to not obsess about the hurt. I can have freedom. Not one ounce of this is possible without God.

Broken trust is a hard one for me. I’ve been studying on forgiveness like crazy & it’s not over. I need more of God’s Word to wash over my heart. I need Him to break me. Sorting out the differences between hurt & needing to forgive can get murky in my mind. It can take awhile but thankfully the Lord is patient with me.

At the end of the day can I change any of the what if’s that occur in my own life? No, not even close but I can change me with His help. It’s in the moments of coming to the end of myself & deep hurt that I finally open my tightly clenched fists & lay my hands out to Jesus. My flesh driven pride battles with my desire for humility.

You see, they can’t reside together. If I’m trying to be the lord of my own life then I no longer remain humble in the one true King. A prideful heart justifies actions. A humble heart can forgive & focuses on justification through Jesus Christ. Oh Lord, may you gift me with your humbleness.

What can be done to heal from broken trust? There is Worship! Lord, may I roar the praises of Your glory in worship. ~ Psalm 103 ~

There is Prayer! Lord, help me to pray for those who have hurt me. ~Mark 11:25 ~

Worship & prayer can soften the heart. Devoted worship can saturate the hurts in truth. All in. Complete surrender.

There is His Word! Ephesians 4…Lord, may it soak into me! Luke 6…Lord, may I meditate on it day & night!

Whatever you do, don’t give up! There is hope! Always hope! Hope in Him, in his Word & in his plan.

I’m right here with you. Forgiveness takes supernatural effort. I think it’s time, don’t you? May our actions not grieve the Holy Spirit.

In Christ,

Tracy

– I understand that some what if’s are way more serious than what I mentioned & I’m truly sorry if you have experienced any.